Leadership Isn’t a Title—It’s a Conversation

Five Lessons Every Modern Influencer Needs

What if I told you that the future of leadership isn’t reserved for the people at the top of the org chart? What if you—yes, you, reading this right now—could ignite real change in your community, school, or company, just by shifting the way you communicate?

Let’s be honest: leadership can feel like a buzzword, tossed around until it loses all meaning. But, after digging into Leadership, Communication, and Social Influence by Ruben & Gigliotti (2019), I’m convinced that we’ve been looking at leadership the wrong way. Leadership isn’t just for “the boss”—it’s for everyone who is willing to step up, speak up, and connect with others in a meaningful way.

Here are five core lessons from Ruben and Gigliotti that can supercharge your influence and set your leadership journey on fire—no matter where you’re starting.

1. Leadership Is Communication, Not Just a Title

Let’s clear up a myth: leadership isn’t about the corner office or the fancy title on your business card. Leadership is communication, plain and simple. According to Ruben and Gigliotti (2019), every single interaction—whether you’re leading a meeting or chatting in the hallway—is a moment to inspire, influence, and connect.

Great leaders know their impact starts with how they communicate. Your words, your tone, your body language, and—let’s be real—your ability to listen all matter. Are you sparking curiosity? Are you building trust? Are you motivating people to act? If you’re communicating with intention, you’re already leading.

Takeaway: Don’t wait for a title to start making an impact. Use your voice. Shape the conversation.

2. Influence Happens in Every Direction

Gone are the days when leadership only flowed from the top down. The real magic happens when influence travels in every direction: up, down, and sideways. As Ruben and Gigliotti explain, today’s leaders must be “web builders,” not “ladder climbers.”

What does that mean for you? It means the way you treat your colleagues, the way you listen to your team, and the way you communicate with your community all create ripples. Your influence is not limited to direct reports or those who “answer” to you—it’s about how you show up in every relationship.

Takeaway: Think about influence as a web. The stronger your connections, the greater your impact.

3. Adaptability Is Your Superpower

One thing that separates mediocre leaders from transformational ones is adaptability. Leadership isn’t one-size-fits-all. The best leaders read the room and flex their communication style to match the audience and situation. Sometimes you need to rally the troops; sometimes you need to hear hard truths; and sometimes you need to challenge the status quo.

Ruben and Gigliotti call this ability to “code-switch” your communication style a non-negotiable leadership skill. You might be explaining the mission to new hires in the morning and pitching an innovative idea to executives in the afternoon. Both moments matter—but they require different communication moves.

Takeaway: Be the leader who meets people where they are. Adapt, adjust, and stay open to change.

4. Storytelling Drives Social Change

Here’s a truth every great speaker (and every zombie-fighting survivor, if you ask Dr. Vrooman) knows: facts inform, but stories transform. If you want to move people—not just make them think, but make them feel—learn to tell compelling stories that connect with values, culture, and identity.

Ruben and Gigliotti remind us that leadership isn’t about reciting data or issuing orders. It’s about building narratives that create meaning and belonging. Storytelling isn’t just a “nice to have”—it’s the heart of influence. Think about the last time you were inspired to take action. Chances are, it wasn’t because someone gave you a pie chart. It’s because they painted a vision you could see yourself in.

Takeaway: Make storytelling your go-to leadership tool. Use it to drive connection and ignite change.

5. Leadership Is Learned—And It’s for Everyone

Maybe you’ve been told you’re “not a leader.” Maybe you’ve doubted yourself or worried that you’re not qualified. I’m here to tell you: leadership is a practice, not a personality type. It’s for everyone willing to learn, experiment, and grow.

Ruben and Gigliotti’s research is clear—leadership is made, not born. Every day is a chance to practice influence, empathy, and ethical decision-making. The more you engage, the better you get. The world needs more leaders at every level—and that includes you.

Takeaway: Start where you are. Practice. Learn. Grow. The only permission you need to lead is your own.

Final Thoughts: Don’t Wait to Lead—Start the Conversation Today

If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re cut out to lead, remember this: leadership starts with a single conversation. It grows with every story you tell, every relationship you nurture, and every time you show up with adaptability and purpose.

Let’s lead from where we are, with what we have—one authentic connection at a time.

And if you’re working to level up your public speaking or influence skills, The Zombie Guide to Public Speaking(Vrooman, 2015) offers some practical wisdom: start with a powerful attention-getter, craft a clear message, and deliver with energy and authenticity. That’s how you bring your leadership story to life—no matter who’s in the audience.

Ready to put these principles into action? Share your leadership story below or connect with me for resources on becoming a more effective, influential communicator!

References

Ruben, B. D., & Gigliotti, R. A. (2019). Leadership, communication, and social influence: A theory of resonance. Routledge.

Vrooman, S. S. (2015). The Zombie Guide to Public Speaking. Kendall Hunt Publishing.